Gender Neutral Family Terms & Titles

There are still elements of our everyday language that can feel irreversibly gendered, and terms for family members definitely fall into that category. But never fear! For as long as gendered language has existed, people have been coming up with work-arounds.

If you’re wondering what to call your gender-neutral family member, or you’re someone who has begun using gender-neutral terms and you want to know what to be called, read on! As always when you’re unsure, best practice is to simply ask your relative what language they are comfortable with.

*Thank you to @thenonbinaryparent on Instagram for sharing some of these unique terms!

Parents

There’s already a great gender-neutral term for a parent—and it’s “parent”! Although it might be instinctual to ask about someone’s “mom and dad,” not every family looks the same and has both a mother and a father.

The word “parent” can be a great word to use when talking *about* someone, but for more affectionate names, kids can try some of these words:

• Bapa

• Baba

• Dida

• Zaza/Zeze/Zizi

• Nini

• Nibi

• Mimi

• Mapa/Mapo

• MaiMai

• Mombo

• Poppy

All of these terms are great combinations of gendered words, resulting in a unique and gender-neutral word!

Nieces and Nephews

There are many gender-neutral terms that have popped up to replace niece/nephew! Try some of these out:

• Nibling

• Niephling

• Neiph

• Sibkid

• Chibling

The word “Nibling” is said to have been coined in the 1950s, and is a common way to refer to gender-neutral family members!

Aunts and Uncles

Just like replacements for niece and nephew, gender-neutral language for aunt or uncle follows a certain formula. Not only are there combinations of the words aunt and uncle, but the word sibling is also played on to create a new meaning entirely! Check out these terms:

• Pibling

• Auncle

• Encle

• Entie

• Untie

• Zizi

• Nini

• Titi

• Bibi

Brothers and Sisters

There’s already a great collection of gender-neutral language to refer to siblings—including, of course, the word “sibling”! Try out some of these below:

• Sibling

• Sib

• Sibster

• Sibter

Daughters and Sons

Have you ever referred to your child as, well, your child? Or called them “my kid”? If so, then you’ve used gender-neutral language for them! Some other ones that people use are “offspring” or “sprog,” but of course you can create your own.

Grandparents

Notice that the title of this section is “Grandparents,” which is already gender-neutral when used as the singular “grandparent.” However, there are even more terms that have been used to refer to a gender-neutral grandparent, such as “grandy” or “grandwa”!

Wives and Husbands

If your partner is gender non-conforming, then you probably already have ways to refer to them. But if you’re looking for something new to try out, or are wondering what to call them publicly, try these on for size:

• Spouse

• Partner

• Significant Other

• Companion

• Other half

• Cuddlebuddy

• Lover

• Love person

When in doubt, make up your own!

If none of these terms are appealing as a name for yourself, or if your gender non-conforming family member is unsatisfied, that’s okay! Just as these terms were created to help someone feel more comfortable, a gender-neutral family member can always create new words that fit their specific needs. Let them know, or understand for yourself, that it’s okay to play around with combinations of titles, or even make up their own from scratch!

Most importantly, let your family member know that:

>>> whatever identifier or nickname they choose, you will use with respect. <<<

If you are reading this because you have a gender-neutral family member, always take their lead in terms of what language they are comfortable using.

Want to better understand gender so you can support the kids in your life?

Sign up for How To Talk To Kids About Gender, the course that helps parents and caregivers have the not-so-difficult conversations that matter about gender.

Resources to learn more about LGBTQ+ identities and be a better parent or caregiver:

A great way to be an ally is learning the proper terms to discuss 2SLGBTQ+ topics.

To download a PDF of gender and sexuality terms click here.

Has a kid in your life recently come out to you? Check out my guide!